When your daughter announces that she hates the kids in her class, your son says he hates school, or your child doesn’t want to tell you about their school day, it creates a dilemma for you as a parent. Should you assume there is a real problem and jump in to solve it? Or did they simply have one bad day? The first thing you must do is identify the problem. If you decide it is one of these five reasons that your child doesn’t want to tell you about their school day, you probably want to take action to either help them solve the problem on their own or get involved with the school to solve the problem yourself.
Problem #1: Workload
It could be that your child doesn’t understand new material being presented. This is especially true if your child has moved and is in an entirely different educational environment. Additionally, check and see if the amount of work required is reasonable. It may be that your child is experiencing anxiety from being pushed too hard to complete complicated tasks. Problems with workload are not necessarily negative. It may be that so much has happened during the school day that your child does not know how to break it down for a reasonable answer. An extremely intelligent child may be bored in class and, therefore, not paying attention. Your child may
not know how to express their boredom.
Problem #2: Something Bad Happened.
Your child will probably be hesitant to talk about their day if something bad happened. Sometimes a child simply has a bad day where nothing went their way. A bad grade on a test, getting in trouble in class, or a visit to the principal’s office are not events your child will want to share.
Problem #3: Conflict with the Teacher
Teachers and students are people with different and individual personalities. Sometimes conflicts do occur and they can ruin the school experience for your child. If you honestly feel there is a conflict, find out if your child can be transferred to another class or change schools.
Problem #4: Conflict with Peers
Peer pressure can be a very big problem. If your child is a very unique individual, they may find it difficult to “fit.” Your child may be having trouble making friends at school and having someone to play with at recess. Additionally, if your child is being bullied or victimized, they may be hesitant to tell you.
Problem #5: Your Child’s Individual Way of Coping
Some children are private people. Their individual way of coping is to remain quiet and think about their day. If your child has trouble with the formal structure of a school day or a hard time with authority, give them some space to process their day. Waiting to ask your child about their school day until just before bed may elicit a response if
your child is a private person.